Monday, November 19, 2007

Yet another one


Violet crushed
Pleasure scent from destruction
Violet preserved
Safe but no sensation
Violet touched
Pleasure of the exploration

OK, I'm going to try to stop putting myself down as I post these. I know why I'm doing that, and it's childish and silly. I'm so afraid that other people will look at these poems and find the horrible and trite, that I want to be the first to witness their faults and comment on them. Somehow it takes the sting away if I point out my own faults first. But self-deprecation does absolutely nothing for me. It's just another way of hiding out in my safety zone - and that's not what this is supposed to be about.

So, though I see many, many flaws with this poem - what really makes me want to work on re-writing it after all these years is what I like about it. I really enjoy the line, "Pleasure scent from destruction." I am fascinated with the idea that, for many things, the only way to really experience it, to fully enjoy it, is to destroy, or otherwise relinquish it. And there is something interesting about the choices we make - whether to enjoy one aspect of something and keep it, or to enjoy it fully, but lose it - and what does it say about us to choose one over the other.

I also like that this poem is short. I tend to be long winded, both in speaking and writing. So it pleases me that I actually wrote something relatively short.

I am not a writer of haiku, though it would probably be good practice for me to apply myself to that discipline. One of my favorite poems is a haiku. I heard it somewhere, years ago, wrote it down quickly, and had it on my computer for ages. But I lost it in a computer crash awhile back. I'm going to try to remember it, but if it's a little off - forgive me.

Oh. You want me to love you
the way you would love you
if you were me.

I love this because it captures, so concisely, what I think so many people struggle with in relationships.

I think it's not, strictly, technically, haiku - though I think it has the right number of syllables.

I have to look up the rules of haiku. I really think I will spend a little time at it.


Ros said...

5-7-5, you know I had to google it.

Here's the not-quite-haiku I wrote in second grade:

Little white stone I kicked you
Little white stone I kicked you
Little white stone I kicked you
As I walked along.

The Bear Maiden said...

There's Bagu, too but I couldn't find the rules. Poppy knows. I'll ask him. I think it's 5 lines of 8.

MysTery said...

I love that hiaku.

It does say so much.