Monday, July 9, 2007

On My Own

Tonight will be a milestone. One I'm ready for...I think...but apprehensive about none the less.

Spice is spending her first night away from me.

MamasGirl spent more time away from me in general as a baby and spent her first night apart from me when she was just 10 months old. By the time she was 2 years old, MamasGirl had probably spent the night away from me at least 5 or 6 times. Mostly for business trips, but at least once or twice was so I could go to a something social. Once to go to a big dance, another time so the Bull and I could take a short, weekend vacation in Jamaica.

But, with Spice, it just never seemed right to have her sleep away from me. Maybe because she was home with me more in general. With MamasGirl, I was working in an office for the first few months of her life and even once I started working from home, it seemed to make more sense for her to go be with Saint Aunt when I was working.

But Spice would never take a bottle and in the beginning it was easier to work with her here than to make the 45 minute drive to Saint Aunt's house. That bottle thing, made a real difference. There's something about knowing that someone else can feed your child that let's you let go a little - be more relaxed about someone else caring for her.

But knowing Spice wouldn't take a bottle - no matter how long she had to wait - well, I couldn't leave her with anyone unless it was absolutely necessary - and certainly not overnight.

But, now, here it is, almost 2 years gone by and I'm kind of worn out. So I decided it's time for me to have a little, tiny break. Spice pretty much sleeps through the night. She usually gets up around 5 or 6 and gets in bed with us. But some days, if she's been active, she'll sleep until 7 or 8. And, she's spent enough time with Saint Aunt during the day, and taken enough naps there, that she knows how to fall asleep on her own when she's there. I'm guessing they might have a little rough patch around bedtime. But once Spice is sleep, it should go smoothly. At least I hope so.

As for me. I have to admit that I had wild fantasies about getting SO MUCH done being in the house alone for a change. But I've wasted away most of today just enjoying the quiet and solitude.

I don't think anyone ever warned me about how much children talk!!! It's probably more of a girl thing than a boy thing - so all you boy mamas can gloat - but my children NEVER shut up!!! MamasGirl is constantly singing, talking, making all kinds of sounds. And Spice has picked up the habit - talking all day - and only about 70% of what she says is intelligible.

So, just not hearing any voices has been a pleasure today. Though by morning I'm sure I'll be anxious to hear my girls.

I have no idea if this little break will have an impact on Spice nursing. I doubt it. I remember being so certain that MamasGirl would wean when I made the trip to Jamaica, but nope, the first thing she wanted to do when we got home was nurse. And that was 3 nights apart. So my guess is after 1 night away, Spice will want to nurse even more.


Ros said...

Both sympathy and congrats on the bittersweet milestone. And trust me, boys talk just as much as girls.

Elizabeth F. said...

I am loving your blog! :-) I found you through The Black Breastfeeding Blog.

I have 3 kids that have all Breastfed, one of which will be 2 soon. I share your situation of not being able to be away. But, I am seeing light at the end of the tunnel.

professor said...

ahh, silence...on the rare occasions when Im in the house alone, NOTHING GETS ACCOMPLISHED. I sit on the couch and RELISH the silence. Yes the sound of little voices is beautiful, but gosh, they DO talk all the time!!!!!
I too am alone, mine has gone to Oregon for 11 days, and the other has run away to pitas house...she cant take that her "annoying" sister has left I'm on the computer at 8 a.m. relishing the silence!!!!!

Fat Lady said...

Thanks Elizabeth!! I just checked out your blog and it looks great!! I'm excited to start reading it.

Fat Lady said...

Thanks Ros. It was a bittersweet milestone. Honestly, I hate to admit it, but it was more sweet than bitter for me. I definitely missed Spice, and I was happy to hold her again. But, I REALLY enjoyed that time to myself. I try not to look too far ahead with her, because now I know how fast time passes with kids and that it's better to enjoy the here and now than looking to the future too much. But I do look forward to a time when she's really comfortable with spending a night, or *gasp* two apart from me. I LOVE being a mama - but I also love having just a little bit of time to remember I'm a person too.

Fat Lady said...

Hey Professor!

So what you're telling me is they never grow out of this incessant talking? Oh no!! I've almost been looking forward to MamasGirl hitting the teen years and refusing to speak to us.

And you just made me feel loads better for not getting much done. As organized and efficient as you are, if you sit and space out when you get some time to yourself - then there's no way I could resist it.