Sunday, July 8, 2007

Almost 2

Well, baby girl is not a baby anymore. In 12 more days she will be 2 years old. 2 years ago I was anxiously awaiting her arrival. It was one day past her due date and I thought for sure she would come that day or the next - certainly not 13 days late.

But, now that I know her, it's no surprise to me that my Spice made me wait. She was determined to control her world before she was even born, and that hasn't changed a bit.

She does what she wants, when she wants with no regard for the the little things that make others comfortable. People smile at her on the street and she puts her head down and says, "I no talk to you." I take her hand, to cross the street and she pulls away. Her sister touches...anything - me, a pencil, the television, a book, whatever - and she says, "NO! Not for you." She is a princess in the very strongest sense of the word. She holds court and you may try to please her and have the privilege of being subjected to her whims.

And yet, when she smiles. When she laughs. When she doles out her rare hugs and kisses, it makes it all worth it. She is VIBRANT and it is a pleasure to just bask in her glow.

But, the struggles are exhausting. I made the decision to nurse my Spice for as long as she wants. I just never thought I would have to struggle with the terms of nursing.

MamasGirl, Spice's big sister, nursed until she was 3 years old. But I was much less sure of myself back then - and much less comfortable and educated with nursing past infancy. So I hid it. We only nursed at home - never in public. By the time MamasGirl was 2yo she knew quite well that she shouldn't even bother to ask to nurse when we were out. Spice knows no such thing. I've made a commitment to nursing her in public and I'm fine with that. Except Spice sometimes wants me to be completely exposed while I nurse her.

Today, while MamasGirl was at a tennis lesson, I sat in on the grass in the park and tried to nurse Spice, discreetly. Spice had other ideas and kept lifting my shirt - and the power struggle began.

Yeah, yeah, I've read all the books about NOT engaging in power struggles with toddlers. But when the toddler wants your shirt up, and you want your shirt down - well someone's got to win and someone's got to lose and the road there just is not pretty.

We ended up going for a walk instead of nursing - a walk that Spice screamed - "I want milk!! I NEEEEEEED MILK!" all the way through.

In the end I triumphed. MamasGirl's lesson ended, we walked to a playground and after playing for a few minutes Spice climbed in my lap and announced she wanted to nurse again. This time, she left my shirt alone, and quickly drifted off to sleep - I guess 20 minutes of screaming while climbing up the side of your mother will wear a toddler out.

It should be an interesting summer of toting the girls around, nursing, playing, and finding ways to beat the heat.


Ginger said...

Wow this sounds like us at Barnes and Nobles the other night. Piper kept lifting my shirt and I kept saying "If you want to nurse, you have to keep the shirt down." Power struggled ensued. I stopped nursing and Piper screamed "I want the boob!" over and over again LOL.

Me said...

LOL!!! I'm sorry to say it, but misery really does love company. I can't even tell you how much better I feel knowing that I'm not alone. Not that I'd wish these struggles on you - but knowing that you and Piper are going through the same thing, makes it feel much more like just a stage of toddlerhood, and not so much like I'm a complete idiot who doesn't know what to do with a crazed child.

The Bear Maiden said...

LOL. Yeah, and I think it's a girl-baby thing. Cuz the Sun *knew* not to mess with Mama. The only thing he was demanding about is nursing the second I walked in the door from work. "Siddown, mommy. Siddown. Can I have boobie please?"

My mother and sister (who both nursed but not as long as me) would say "OK! If he can not only tell you what to do, but then say "please" it's time to wean that boy!" But we weaned on our own..