Work & Life

Well, my grand plan of writing everyday, or at least every other day fell by the wayside. Work took over and wore me out - well, work and Spice wore me out - that girl takes some energy to parent.

For two weeks straight I was working day and night. Or taking care of Spice all day and working all night. Or making the two hour round-trip trek to Brooklyn twice a day so that Saint Aunt could watch Spice so I could work during the day and then working at night. Many thanks to my friend LilacBlue who did watch Spice for me for two days. What a relief it was to get my work done without having to juggle a four hour commute into the day. But even then, I was working all day, picking up Sugar and Spice and feeding them, getting them into bed and then working all night. One week of it was rough, but when I had to do 4 more days of it at the end of the next week that all culminated this past Sunday night into Monday in an all-night work session, I really started to feel the toll on my body.

When I climbed into bed at 5:30 Monday morning I was shaking all over and I felt queasy and disoriented. Really, I hadn't felt anything like that in years - and then it was the result of putting substances in my body that didn't belong there - this was just plain old exhaustion creeping in on me. I really began to understand just what it is that happens when people collapse from exhaustion because my body was just taking matters into it's own hands.

I still have no idea how I managed to drag myself back out of bed at 7am and get Sugar to school and then finish my work. Wait...did I take Sugar to school on Monday? No, I think I begged the Bull to do it so that I could stay home and track down the rest of my work and get it out. Yeah...that's what happened...it's all so fuzzy now.

To make matters worse, I not only had to finish up the work, which I did, with Spice running around - and my friend, Bear Maiden here keeping me company - and helping me stay awake - but then I picked up Sugar from school, got her to Carnegie Hall for rehearsal for her concert that night, and then went back home and got Spice and I dressed for the concert and out the door and to Carnegie Hall on time.

The concert was nice, though there was a greater focus on the celebrities than the kids and I would much preferred, for my $85 to have heard my kid (and all the kids)sing more and the celebrities sing less. But I guess all the people who came who don't have kids in the chorus probably felt differently.

Getting home at 11pm was the last straw for my poor body. By the time I got the girls in bed, I passed out lying next to Spice in her horrendously uncomfortable Ikea toddler bed and couldn't be roused until 6am - though the Bull tried twice to get me to move to our bed - where I slept for 3 more hours.

And so I've spent the rest of the week relaxing and shopping and hanging out with Bear Maiden and Lilac Blue and I'm just starting to feel mildly rejuvenated - though not nearly myself. I think it would take another 2 weeks of freedom from work to start feeling human again - and I doubt that's in my future.

Though a change in work will happen. I just can't go on the way I have been. I need more time, more resources, more structure, and I'm determined to have it. So there will be a talk happening with my boss on Monday. Wish me luck. I hope I walk out of there employed and with an agreement for a better work schedule, but I'm willing to walk out unemployed, if necessary.